Telling Mom

So as you all know, I was stressing on the whole bit about telling my mom that I am pregnant. I was afraid that she wouldn't take the news all that lightly. Only for the simple fact that Jason and I haven't known each other all that long and with his past and all. That and I wanted to make sure that my body wasn't going to reject this pregnancy as it did my last. So with me having entered my second trimester last week, I figured it was time to let my mom in on our joyous news.

I was thinking about going to Babies R Us and grabbing this pillow I had seen there. It was a little yellow pillow that said "I LOVE GRANDMA" on it and had a see through pocket that you place a picture of your child in. Well I thought about sticking the ultrasound picture in that and giving it to my mom. I was having such a hard time figuring out what to do, so my sister said she would help me out. So She came down this past Saturday( April 28th ) to help me.

The plan to tell mom is this. We would ( we being my sister and I ) take mom out to breakfast and tell her that we have an early mothers day present for her. The bag is handed over. The contents of this bag would be: 1) A card addressed from baby Phillips/McMenomy to Grandma. 2) An I love Grandma picture frame containing a copy of my ultrasound.

So we decide to go out for Mexican food. Randy, my moms ex-boyfriend whom is family to us, came along not knowing what really was going on. So we all sit down and immediately my sister orders Mom , Randy , and herself a Bloody Mary whiles I have an iced tea. We all ordered our food and conversation began. After we finish eating, my sister pipes in with " Oh I almost forgot , we have an early mothers day present for you". The bag gets handed over and I instantly start chewing my thumb and tears welled up in my eyes. After mom reads the card she looks at my sister and tells her that she thought it was hers at first and then looks at me and says " I thought he couldn't have kids". I told her " That is what he was told". Then the conversation turned into she wished I would have just told her sooner. And that she knew something was going on when I wouldn't have a glass of wine with her the other day.

So from this point Reesa ( my sister ) and my mom decide they want to go buy me some maternity clothing. This was to the tune of like $500. Way to much for them to have been spending on me, but I do appreciate it! We spent a few hours at Mimi's and JC Pennys. I would try on one outfit as my sister would hand me three more. I thought it would never end. Finally my mom and sister made their purchases and off we were. Poor Randy had to dragged along. I bet he will think twice before going out with all the girls from now on.

So the day went surprisingly well. Jason wanted to be there when I told my mom that we were pregnant, but my sister and I decided that it would be better if he wasn't there when I broke the news. Seeing that he is the father of this child it would only be fare for him to take part in every aspect of his child's life. So from this point on, anything that has to do with this child, he will be involved in. I kind of feel bad for not including him in on the breaking of the news to my mother. But I thought it would be better that he not be there in case my moms reaction wasn't all that great. All and all I would have to say the day went pretty well.

Recap of the First Trimester

Finding Out



On the 28th of February 2007, (just two days after his motorcycle accident) Jason and I found out that we were pregnant. I had felt that I was pregnant since the end of January. I felt really hungry, tired, and just not myself. I kept the feeling to myself for the most part, only discussing it with a couple of people. I was in denial, not because I don't want a baby, but because it was so early on into the relationship and Jason was told he was sterile.

On the 28th I had decided I was going to take a pregnancy test. I already knew I was pregnant I just needed conformation before I said anything else. So I head to the bathroom and pee on the stick. 2 lines..... WOW!! We are pregnant. I come out of the bathroom (filled with excitement yet scared at the same time) and say," Babe, your doctor was wrong, your swimmers do work." I was afraid that Jason wouldn't be pleased with the news but he was happy about it.



The Living Well Clinic

While talking to my friend Tracey the night I found out, she said she would look up information for me because I was a tad bit overwhelmed. She found The Living Well Clinic for me and said she would go with me. They do pregnancy tests and first ultrasound at no cost to you. So first things first. Pregnancy test!

I come into this place nervous as hell! I don't do well in situations with new people. So Jason, Tracey and I are sitting in this tiny room waiting to take a piss test to confirm the two I had taken at home. I finally get in and to no surprise PREGNANT. The woman in the clinic sits me down and talks to me about my options. Of course I am going to have this baby so it wasn't much of a talk. So the woman sets up an appointment for me to have an ultrasound on the 27th of March because we aren't positive how far along I am.



Ultrasound


Back to Living Well Clinic for me. I sit nervously with Jason whiles I wait in line for the ultrasound. Last time I had one of these I miscarried. So I was scared and had all kinds of thoughts floating through my mind. I really had to pee like crazy and I knew they were going to ask me for urine so I sat for an hour holding it back. The time came for me to pee and guess who couldn't go. Even after drinking an ass load of fluids.

The woman takes me to the back and asks me about my family history. Then I hear the woman's babies heart beat coming from the ultrasound room. I got so excited to hear that sound. It was a sound I had never heard before. She takes my blood pressure and all that good stuff and then sticks me in a tiny room about half the size of a handicap bathroom stall. In comes the Dr. She tells me that she is going to listen for the baby's heart beat using a Fetoscope. Instantly I became very nervous. Last time I never got to hear the heart because it didn't fully develop. My fear came out and I just wanted to hold my breath until I heard that heart. Of course she couldn't find the heart beat. I wanted to cry! I kept telling myself that it was ok and the Dr. just couldn't find it. Not to jump to conclusions until you have the ultrasound. So she sticks me in another tiny room where the machine is.

I'm sitting in this room with my vagine facing the door which leads into a room full of people. It was a tad bit uncomfortable. The nurse comes in followed by another nurse who is in training at this clinic. They start probing my vagine and finally allow Jason to come in. The baby was bending back and forth moving around like crazy. Then she showed us the beating heart and allowed us to listen ( 160 BPM) in on it. A single tear went down my cheek. I was relieved and excited! I looked over at Jason. He was fixed on the screen looking excited yet somewhat freaked out. Like now the reality sets in.



Baby McMenomy at 10 weeks




Medi-cal


So seeing as I don't have insurance, we head to medi-cal. The place was packed and we had to park in the parking lot of another business and walk over. That's how it is when you live in a city where 90% of the population is Hispanic. Wait in line....fill this out... wait in line... sign here... blah blah blah. After a long process they bring us into a room. They go over my application with me and then tell me that it will be 10 days before I hear anything. 10 days pass and I get a letter telling me who the person is handling my case. No approved or denial, nothing. So I look through the original paperwork on the process of getting medi-cal. I read that it takes 45 days to get an approval or denial. I was like what the fuck! I will be in my second trimester by then. So here I am 14 weeks pregnant and still have yet to see a doctor. No blood tests, nothing.



Reactions



I know that you are supposed to wait till you are around three months pregnant before sounding the bells. Many pregnancy's end in miscarriage and chances of miscarriage greatly decrease as you hit your second trimester. But keeping this a secret is too hard. Jason instantly starts telling his friends and family that I am pregnant. And I tell a select few of my friends and of course my brother and sister. I decided after talking to my sister that it would be better if I not tell my mom until I hit my second trimester because of the outcome of my last pregnancy and the effects that it had. That and I don't think my mom is going to be too happy about it.

So far, for the most part, everyone has been supportive. Just about everyone knows. The two people that don't know are my mother and my dad. I am telling my mom this coming Friday. I am freaked out about telling her and am glad that my sister is coming down to support me on that one. As soon as my mom knows I will let my dad in on it.



Bodily Changes


So far there haven't been much changes. My breast are sensitive as hell and waist has gone up two belt sizes. It isn't obvious to someone who doesn't see me naked everyday that I am pregnant. That should be changing here in the next couple of weeks as the uterus is just now a bit over my pelvic bone. The baby is only about the size of a lemon at this point. Give it two weeks and S/he should be about the size of an avocado. I am constantly online looking at information about the baby. It is so exciting!